How to rid your child of the computer. How to wean your child off the computer

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In the last article, we talked about the rules of working at the computer, as well as parental control tools, only briefly touching on the topic of computer addiction in children. Today we will talk about it in detail and give you, Dear Parents, effective recommendations that will help cope with this scourge.

What is computer addiction?

Computer addiction is one of the forms of psychological addiction, manifested in an obsessive passion for computer and video games (gaming addiction), as well as a pathological craving for the Internet (Internet addiction). In other words, this is the same condition when a child or adult “cannot live without a computer” and spends all his free time in front of the monitor, often even refusing to sleep and eat.

Symptoms of computer addiction

Children suffering from computer addiction are characterized by sloppiness and neglect of their appearance and the absence of any interests not related to the computer. Parents should pay attention to the following symptoms:

improved mood, significant psycho-emotional arousal when working on a computer;
anticipation of the next “session”;
obsessive desire to constantly be online (including using mobile devices);
a constant increase in time spent in front of the monitor;
reluctance to look away from the computer;
aggressive behavior in response to attempts by loved ones to distract the child from a game or Internet session;
neglecting household chores for the sake of the computer;
neglecting sleep, personal hygiene or food for the sake of the computer;
reducing any conversation when communicating to a computer topic;
a sharp deterioration in school performance;
giving up hobbies not related to the computer;
refusal to communicate with friends outside the computer.

In addition to “behavioral” symptoms, a child may experience the following health problems:

blurred vision;
headache;
back pain;
pain in the wrists (so-called “tunnel syndrome);
sleep disturbances, including insomnia and intrusive nightmares;
decreased immunity;
increased fatigue.

Naturally, you should not diagnose your child yourself, but the above symptoms are a good reason to consult a child psychologist.

How does computer addiction occur?

One of the dangers of computer addiction is that it occurs quickly and unnoticed: just yesterday a child spent no more than an hour a day in front of a monitor, but today you can’t drag him away from the computer by the ears. However, it is a mistake to believe that the computer is the root of all ills. A smart machine itself does not cause any addiction, and a child’s communication with a computer (of course, subject to certain rules) does not mean that your heir will soon turn into a “computer maniac.”

Psychological dependence develops as a result of the child’s desire to “escape” from the real world, and the computer here is only one of the possible means of escape. The reasons for the appearance of such a desire in a child are different, among them:

problems and conflicts in the family. It’s sad, but most of a child’s problems come from the family. When there is no mutual understanding in the house, when there is no warmth and love, when all the child sees and hears in the house is scandals and swearing, he wants to run away and hide in a safe place. Before the era of computers, children “escaped” from family problems into the courtyards (and often got involved with “bad” companies) or found refuge in books. Nowadays, the virtual world provides a child with a reliable refuge from all the troubles of life. By the way, we are talking here not so much about asocial families of alcoholics and drug addicts. The reason for escaping from reality can be serious problems, for example, the divorce of parents, and situations that are quite common in our time, such as adults being overworked.
lack of communication. If parents do not have enough time for full communication with the child, if they are little interested in his feelings and thoughts, the child quickly finds a “replacement” for them. For children who are sociable and self-confident, such a “substitute” can be their peers or other adults from their environment (educators, teachers, heads of clubs and sections), but for children who are withdrawn and shy, the computer becomes their only outlet. As for teenagers, they are more often driven to computer addiction by problems communicating with peers than with parents. In this case, the task of the parents is to gently and as delicately as possible help the teenager find friends in the real world.
low self-esteem. Today, competition between children has increased many times over. And we are not only talking about academic performance at school - now, in order to become “one of the people” in the company of peers, a child must have a wide variety of modern gadgets and a bunch of other things that are relevant for the current generation, in addition, he must be the leader and “soul” of the company. Unfortunately, not all children are leaders by nature, and not all parents can afford to buy the latest model iPhone or smart watch for a first-grader. As a result, not receiving recognition in the company of peers, the child looks for it elsewhere. And he finds it. After all, the virtual world can be subject to your own rules, turning from a lonely loser into the savior of the universe in a few hours.

Note: It is quite possible to fall under the spell of virtual worlds successful child, living with loving and attentive parents and easily making friends with peers. Multiplayer role-playing games are especially dangerous for a fragile child's psyche. Often entire companies get hooked on such games, completely abandoning communication outside the virtual world. The “consumption” of such games should be strictly dosed!

How to tear your child away from the computer?

It is easier to prevent the development of computer addiction and not allow the child to spend all his free time “on the computer” than to then deal with the consequences. Solving this problem requires integrated approach, often in order to cope with addiction, a child needs the help of a psychologist, and in especially severe cases, drug therapy. However, if parents notice the first “bells” in time, they can distract their child from the computer without outside help.

First of all, parents should understand that methods of weaning a child from the computer directly depend on his age. Yes, from absolutely small child, as from a younger child preschool age, just hide the coveted toy and he will forget about it. Especially if parents spend some of their precious time playing and communicating with the child.

This trick will no longer work with younger schoolchildren, and in order to get their beloved child out of the virtual world, parents will have to show some ingenuity:

start family traditions. For example, cooking dinner together every day, pizza and movie night on Fridays, going to the zoo or amusement park on Saturday, etc.;
regularly take your child out of town. And preferably not to the dacha for planting/harvesting potatoes! Let it be hiking routes around the outskirts of your city, horseback riding or cycling, overnight stays in nature with a tent and scary stories campfire. In general, show your child how bright and amazing the world surrounds him!
Help your child find a hobby. Drawing, modeling, sports, dancing, photography, it can be anything. Just please take this as seriously as possible and don’t leave your child alone with his new hobby. For example, if a child chooses photography, explore this art together. You don’t have to immediately acquire two expensive DSLRs; a couple of budget point-and-shoot cameras are a good place to start. Go out together to hunt for new shots, read literature about photography together, and visit exhibitions. The same applies to the child’s other hobbies. By the way, if your heir wants to connect his future with a computer, becoming, for example, a computer game developer, programmer or designer, do not dismiss this desire. Your task is to direct energy in a peaceful direction.

The most difficult thing to deal with is a teenager's excessive interest in computers. Under no circumstances should you forbid your teenager to sit at the computer, do not ostentatiously turn off the Internet, and do not refuse to pay for a subscription to your favorite online game because he has completed a quarter of school earlier than you expected. All these methods, due to their features transition period in a child will lead to the exact opposite result.

Now your first priority is to learn to listen and hear your child. You should be his friend, and not turn into the punishing hand of the law. It is very important to understand why a teenager prefers virtual life to real life. Maybe he has problems with his peers, maybe he met his first love in that same online game, and his evil parents prevent him from communicating with her, forbidding him to enter the game, maybe he simply has nothing else to do and is thus killing time, but Maybe he’s not at all drawing “stupid” moving devils all day long, but is trying to create a cartoon. In any case, before diagnosing a child as “cannot live without a computer,” it is necessary to understand the reasons.

If a teenager is simply bored, help him find something he likes - enroll him in a sports section or a cross-stitching group, a travel club or a club for macrame lovers - it doesn’t matter how prestigious this hobby turns out to be or how much you like it, the main thing is that the activity meets the interests of the child.

If he is seriously interested in programming, animation, design or creating electronic music, support him, if necessary, not only morally, but also financially. Enroll in paid professional courses or hire a private tutor, provide relevant literature, etc.

Well, if it’s about first love, try to pull yourself together and not interfere. And under no circumstances make fun of your child, don’t tell him or her that all this is nonsense and that he will still have a thousand more “loves”.

Summary

If the matter has taken a serious turn, all the signs of computer addiction are evident and you cannot get the child out of the virtual world on your own, do not waste time and do not hope that the problem will disappear by itself - seek help from a qualified child psychologist.

Remember: personal example is much more effective than soul-saving conversations, prohibitions or tricks. If you yourself cannot tear yourself away from the monitor for hours, start by educating yourself, and only then take on your child.

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Although computers are very useful and convenient devices, they are often addictive. Nowadays, many children spend too much time on the computer. If this problem affects your child, it is likely frustrating for you as a parent. Computer addiction is so strong that it has been compared to drug addiction, and excessive computer use can lead to serious problems in the future. Help your child overcome computer addiction by setting a limit on how much time they spend on the computer, talk to your child, and together find an alternative activity that will pique his or her interest.

Steps

Limit your time on the computer

Set a password on your computer that only you will know. Your child will have to ask you for permission to turn on the computer and spend time on it. This method is especially good if the child is still small and does not need a computer to do homework. But for older children, this method is also useful, especially if the child has a strong computer addiction.

If you are not at home, you can simply change the password on your computer every day and send it to your child (for example, via SMS) when he can spend time on the computer.

Install parental control software on your computer. You may be concerned about the fact that your child may be sitting at the computer while you are not at home. But you can install a parental control program (or mode) on your computer, thereby limiting access to websites. These settings can be set on your router, in Windows settings, or through a website (such as Norton).

Allow your child to sit at the computer only after he has finished other tasks. Teach your child to prioritize by requiring him to complete his homework and chores before going to the computer. Make a checklist of all the responsibilities and tasks that your child must complete every day, and hang this list on the refrigerator. Teach your child to view computer time as a privilege, not a right.
- In addition, you can organize some kind of activity - a family evening or some interesting family game - that must be completed before sitting down at the computer.
- Tell your child that before sitting down to play on the computer, he must complete the tasks on the list. When you return home from work, check if your child has completed all your instructions. If the tasks on the list are not completed, come up with some small punishment.
- It is important to agree with all relatives (including the other parent or guardian) about these rules, and also discuss the system of rewards and punishments for the child.
Try creating computer-free zones. Allow your child to use the computer only in shared rooms (such as the den or living room). Do not allow your child to sit at the computer in his room or during dinner, or when the family is spending time together.
- If you have the opportunity, make sure your child has one computer for doing homework (if necessary) and a second computer for relaxing and playing. This way, you will be sure that your child is not deceiving you and is actually doing his homework. On the “work” computer, all gaming sites, social networks, etc. should be blocked.
- If you're concerned about your child using a laptop in their room when you're not home, take or hide the charger or battery and only give it to your child when you get home.
Set limits on computer use. Limit your time on the computer by setting a limit of no more than two hours a day (if your child is over two years old). Children under two years old should not spend much time in front of a computer or TV monitor. This rule may apply if the child spends time at the computer for purposes other than educational purposes. Set a timer so your child knows how long he can play on the computer.
- At first, you can try to warn the child 15 minutes in advance, announcing to him that time is gradually coming to an end.

Find alternative activities

Offer to your child alternative views activities. Play board games with him, go to the library or visit friends to chat. If your child has become addicted to the computer, prepare for a difficult time (several days or weeks) because the child's brain no longer responds to your calls and you will have to retrain him. Even if you offer your child alternative activities, he may simply not respond to them.
- Allow your child to choose a game or express his ideas about what he would like to do.
- Remember that it is quite normal for a child to feel bored, it is even useful because it encourages the child to be creative and develop himself.
Spend time with your family, putting phones and computers aside. Spend time together every day, and during this time, all family members should stop using electronic devices. These include telephones, computers and television. Have regular family dinners so you can enjoy family time, relaxation, and a lot of laughter.

Computer addiction usually occurs in children between the ages of 10 and 16. And this is not surprising - the teenage psyche is not yet stable enough. However, medical statistics are disappointing - among gambling addicts you can increasingly find younger schoolchildren and even preschool children.

Today we will talk about how to rid a child of computer addiction, we will understand the sources of its occurrence and learn the advice of specialists on its prevention.

The topic of excessive computer use is becoming more relevant every day. For example, recently there was a high-profile tragedy: a ninth-grader killed his mother and managed to seriously wound his father just because they forbade him to sit at the computer.

According to a psychologist who talked with a young gambling addict, the teenager developed a gaming addiction. He had practically lost touch with reality and considered his actions to be a continuation of the game. The mental disorder was aggravated by the fact that the child constantly played violent “shooters” (shooters).

The presence of this disease in a child can be refuted or confirmed only after consultation with a psychologist. However, even at home, parents can pay attention to obvious symptoms of addiction.

The child sits in front of the monitor for more than three hours a day, not including homework.
A teenager needs the computer to run in the background. Therefore, the child turns it on immediately after waking up and returning from classes.
Any attempts by adults to limit screen time often end in quarrels, scandals and acute conflicts with a teenager.
Schoolchildren have a sharp decrease in the number of social contacts, since communication takes place in instant messengers and social networks.
Children are unable to occupy themselves without gadgets. Board games, books and other entertainment are simply not interesting to them.
Often, the child neglects household responsibilities and homework in favor of another play session.
Almost all interaction with peers comes down to discussing new products in the gaming industry and computer technology.

Read also: What to do if you have a shy child?

Main types of computer addiction in children

Before you talk about ways to solve the problem and listen to the advice of psychologists, you need to understand what type of addiction your child has.

According to experts, there are two main types of unhealthy computer addiction.

Gaming addiction in children(cyberaddiction) manifests itself in an unhealthy attraction to computer toys. A teenager can sit in front of a monitor for hours, forgetting about studying and even eating. Cyber addiction, in turn, comes in two types:
- passion for non-role-playing games (arcades, puzzles, speed of reaction), when the child rejoices in completing the game or getting the maximum number of points;
- dependence on role-playing toys, when children play for certain characters, completely immersing themselves in virtuality.
Network addiction (Internet addiction) observed in schoolchildren who experience difficulties in relationships with peers. The teenager spends all his free time (up to 14-15 hours a day) on forums, chat rooms and social networks. He communicates, downloads music and movies, and makes virtual acquaintances. Clear signs– constant checking of email, an irresistible desire to go online from a computer, tablet or phone.

How dangerous is computer addiction for children's health?

The most obvious consequence of constant screen time is visual impairment. According to the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation, “computer vision syndrome” is widespread among today’s teenagers, the symptoms of which include pain in the eyes, tearing and constant headaches.

However, there are many more health problems caused by the computer. According to the authoritative English psychologist Eric Sigman, computer addiction in children can cause:

obesity, because children, staring at the screen, do not walk or play, but mechanically eat what is on their plate;
weakened immunity, which means susceptibility to colds and infectious diseases;
problems with memory, concentration, and, as a result, difficulties with learning;
insomnia;
autism.

Read also: What to do if your child is lying, and how to stop him from lying?

The influence of a computer on a child’s psyche

The child has less contact with peers, a replacement occurs real life to virtual. This, in turn, increases the fascination with the computer - time spent without it seems wasted.
Against the background of social maladjustment, some schoolchildren develop unjustified aggression, rigidity and other antisocial behavior.
Teachers are sure that excessive involvement with computers leads to decreased literacy. Children write with errors because they are already accustomed to automatic spell checking.

Advice from a psychologist for getting rid of computer addiction

Can't wean your children away from endless games and communication on social networks? First of all, you need to understand what caused this bad habit. Among its sources are self-doubt, difficult relationships with family members, and inability to build relationships with classmates. Parents in such situations need to support the teenager and help deal with the troubles.

The first step is for the whole family to acknowledge the existence of addiction and develop measures to combat it. We immediately warn you that the treatment of setegolism and cyber addiction is a long and very painstaking work.
Do not hesitate to contact a psychologist or psychotherapist. Firstly, the specialist will confirm or refute your suspicions, and secondly, he will see the situation from the outside, find out the cause of the addiction and prescribe treatment.
You should not criticize, scold, or even physically punish children. Such actions will only aggravate the problem and alienate the teenager from his parents, forcing him to withdraw even more into his inner world.
A genuine interest in their hobby will help you get closer to your children. This will increase trust in adults, which means teens will be more willing to share their emotions and more likely to follow parental advice.
The void that will appear after giving up gaming needs to be filled with another hobby. It could be sports or creative activities, reading books, club of interests.

Children love to spend their time playing games. Psychologists believe that play allows a child to model the world and social relationships. Adults are used to limiting children’s activities with toys, if only because everything needs to be removed from the floor, put into drawers and shelves, and only then get ready for bed.

With a computer, everything is different: you don’t have to put it away anywhere, it always stays in its place. Therefore, at first, parents can only be glad that the child is doing something on his own, is not bothering anyone, and there is no disorder in the room.

But after a while, you may notice that it becomes more and more difficult to pull your child away from the monitor. And then parents do not understand how to wean their child from excessive passion for computer games. The prohibitions cease to apply, the child throws hysterics, and it becomes clear to the parents that it is easier to give in. At the same time, they understand that this is a road to nowhere.

How to wean a preschooler off computer games

The simplest rule, psychologists believe, is to explain to a child at this age that a computer is not a toy, but a working tool. In a family where the child sees that adults work at the computer most of the time, he himself will begin to understand that he is dealing with serious technology. If a little person is drawn to computing equipment, then we need to teach him... to work on it.

There are many programs written in game form, which are actually educational. You can select them according to the age and abilities of the child, without telling him that there are also “adventure games” and “shooting games”. Even in this situation, you should limit computer time, citing the fact that mom or dad needs it for work.

But there are situations when the baby’s father comes home from work and immediately rushes to the computer “to rid the world of monsters” while the mother is in the kitchen preparing dinner. If there is a girl growing up in the family, then asking her to help her mother in order to distract her from the process of her father’s game is easier than doing the same trick with a boy.

After all, the imitation reflex is structured in such a way that a boy is more inclined to copy the actions of the male half of the family - his father, grandfather, brother. If a mother plays on the computer, her daughter will do the same.

In such families, it is easier for a child to become addicted to games, but it will be difficult to wean him off. To do this, parents will have to start with self-education. For example, dad can also help mom with dinner: take his son with him and set the table together, or even prepare sauce for the main dish.

Then, after eating, you can sit down with the whole family board game. This is also a game, but everyone plays it together, therefore, there is communication between family members. If before this the dinner took place in an equally friendly atmosphere, then the child will see that it is possible to receive positive emotions without a computer - from simple and joyful communication.

How to wean a teenager from computer games

If a child can be dealt with by partial prohibitions and a partial shift of emphasis to other types of leisure, then with teenagers the situation is different. Some of them do not play at all, but at the same time you cannot drag them away from communication in in social networks. But this is a separate topic for discussion. After all, even through the same social networks you can get a bad example from your interlocutor - contracting computer gambling addiction.

If you have already been able to ensure that your offspring uses the computer to a greater extent for studying, then you will never be able to deprive your son or daughter of computer technology. The teenager will reasonably explain to you that he will not be able to prepare the report that he was assigned in geography, or to prepare for the Mathematical Olympiad.

In this situation, you won’t even be able to turn off the Internet. But you can limit those sites where there is information harmful to the fragile psyche. Especially if the apartment has a router that distributes the network to rooms and Wi-Fi.

Not only sites with obscene content should be banned, but also sites that cultivate cruelty, intransigence, racism and Nazism in the human soul. Antivirus programs should be installed on both the teenager’s computer and his smartphone. But what needs to be encouraged is creative work at computer:

drawing lessons;
foreign language classes;
sets of physical exercises;
dance lessons or playing musical instruments.

As your child develops at the computer, you also don’t need to overdo it, otherwise your vision and posture may suffer. Any desk work should be alternated with physical activity. If you have the means, you can get your teenager a membership to the fitness center. If not, then you can simply send the child to the budget section. Even a teenager can be interested in some sports or dancing.

Why is it harmful for a child to sit at a computer?

Let's start with the fact that any load must be dosed. If you force a person out of habit to run a marathon, his heart may suffer. When we work at the computer, we don’t notice that we are overloading ourselves, because our breathing is not impaired, our heart rate does not increase, and fatigue sets in slowly.

It is difficult to assess how much our eyes suffer, how much our vision decreases, how a hump “grows” on our back, because this does not happen immediately, but gradually. Slowly but surely.

The psyche also suffers. This is also a process, for the time being, imperceptible. This can manifest itself in sleep disturbances, excessive irritability, or a person’s presence as if in another world. The last option is the most difficult for a psychologist.

The replacement of reality with its virtual counterpart may indicate not only a child’s passion for computers, but also his lack of communication skills, as well as trouble in the family itself.

This may begin with the fact that parents only care about each other, that every question of the little one finds only one answer: “Don’t you dare interrupt your elders and don’t get involved in adults’ conversations!”

Demonstrative inattention to the child, which is diligently covered up by the desire to teach the child to respect elders, leads to the fact that he begins to look for himself in a reality where he can change something for the better.

Such a world often turns out to be a computer game, where he manifests himself as a superhero. And then it can be difficult to return the child to the real world.

Why computers attract children

We considered only one point - the opportunity to feel in demand. Children are also attracted to bright emotional games, which often use images of their favorite cartoon characters.

The ease of operating a computer, as well as the ease of obtaining information, a lot of possibilities contained “in one box” - all this attracts a child to a computer. Therefore, in order wean your child off the computer, we need to find something that has as strong an emotional overtones as virtual reality.

Computer as a bad habit

Understand that in a child’s life the computer has become bad habit, it will happen when you notice that your child can ignore such self-evident things as making the bed, washing, combing his hair, brushing his teeth and having breakfast, and the first thing he does is rush to the computer.

If the child has children's tablet, and it puts him next to him to “sleep”, then this can be taken as an element of the game, and not as a dependence on the computer. But when a child plays with a tablet instead of sleeping, this is already an alarming symptom.

If the situation in your family is far from ideal, then the child wants to move his fulcrum to the virtual world. But if your baby takes a rabbit, a kitten or a parrot - any living creature that is easy to care for, but can be communicated with, then the baby's craving for the computer may disappear. The child will feel in demand because he feeds the animal or bird. He himself now acts as a parent, and living creatures are also a happier reality for him.

If a child is growing up uncommunicative, you can invite your friends and their children to visit him, and at the same time meet the parents whose children walk on your playground and arrange joint trips to nature, to a park or an ice cream parlor. The child needs to prove that he can do something in reality himself, that communication is not only virtual, and that beautiful pictures of nature can be seen if you go somewhere, and not watch them from a monitor screen.

“:

Julia

Hello! Dear psychologist, my son is 10 years old. My husband and I cannot wean him off the computer. The fact is that we made a big mistake: we allowed them to play ourselves. Previously, just two years ago, he was completely different: he ran, played, was happy about something, but now he can play games without eating for hours until you force him to, looking gloomy all the time. Now he hasn’t played for 4 days, his behavior has become unbearable, he listens too much, does everything out of spite, gets into scandals, throws tantrums, speaks very poorly to us. Please advise how to wean him off before it’s too late. Thanks in advance for your answer.

Tatiana Egorova

Good afternoon, Julia!

Such things as TV And computer, should always be given to children in in dosed form and under the strict supervision of parents. As for games, here the position of parents should be doubly tough: strict selection and immediate exclusion of antisocial games, promoting an overly detailed three-dimensional dark virtual reality with elements of cruelty, bloodshed, sexuality, depravity and regardless of whether the child is addicted to them or not.

In your case, the boy has already developed a computer addiction due to his passion for games. It is often equated to drug addiction or alcoholism, and it will be very difficult to pull your child out of this swamp. Take into account that your son is about to go into trouble. teenage years and if you don't do it now drastic measures, big problems await you in the future.

Why are children so addicted to computer games? After all, it happens that a child occasionally plays without compromising his school and home responsibilities... To understand where this addiction comes from, you need to know what is happening in the soul of a gamer and what reasons prompted him to devote all his time to a toy.

Psychologists have noticed that computer games create a virtual reality Very attracts a certain group of people. These include children, teenagers and even adults who are experiencing serious psychological problems in real life. They often have difficulties communicating with friends, they feel loneliness and emptiness in their souls, they are not comfortable real world with his real problems that need to be solved, overcoming his timidity and fear. But in games you can always easily solve problems using forceful methods, and if that doesn’t work out, you always have a few lives left... And no one scolds the puny boy.

You know, children and teenagers who have failed to find meaning in life very quickly experience reorientation to virtual life. The sense of time is lost, their own problems fade into the background, and in front of them is a world of a few half-tones, sometimes creepy but also... so understandable and attractive. As a rule, in all games a certain algorithm is artificially set achieving success, i.e. It’s not a child who learns to calculate his decisions, plans and actions—it’s a soulless machine that does it for him. She programs for certain actions. And unfortunately, the meaning of all these actions is to eliminate opponents (shooting, fights, a sea of blood and creepy-looking goblins that contain nothing human... and if there are guys and girls in the game, then most often they are dressed provocatively frighteningly and aimed at exterminating the rest of life in order to achieve their own goal).

There are, however, other games, but none are as popular as 3D virtual reality with the ability to act as a hero.

The child, getting used to the image, involuntarily obeys character specific hero. And you are unlikely to find in him kindness, compassion, sympathy and the desire to help by any means other than violence and weapons. Most games teach that problems can only be solved through brute force. Otherwise they will simply kick you out. And all levels of lives will not be enough.

And what’s sad is that addiction, constantly fueled by regular games, affects the child’s psyche. He becomes similar to the characters in his games in terms of psychological qualities. Rudeness, intolerance, lack of restraint, disrespect for elders, and inability to find a compromise in difficult situations are increasing. In the absence of willpower, general behavior worsens. Problems begin in relationships with parents, teachers and peers who do not share this passion. It is not surprising that the child either withdraws into himself or finds dubious friends who suffer from the same psychological disease - gambling addiction.

So what's now?

Julia, I described in detail the causes of addiction so that you can see in which direction you need to move. Now you have no contact with your son, you have lost this thread that previously connected him with you. Your child is most likely suffering deep down and may realize that he is playing too much. But he cannot cope with his addiction on his own. He needs active family support. Even with his resistance, tears, pleas and assurances that “it won’t happen again, I’ll play at least a little” - the family should support him, but not allow him to play under any circumstances and try to switch him to other types of activities. Now, while he is 10 years old, this is still possible.

Gaming addiction, as well as alcohol and drugs cannot be eliminated by limiting time to hobby. The problem is solved quite harshly - complete exception. You need to remove all games from the computer, all discs with games, and possibly the computer itself, if no one except the child uses it. There should be no compromises here.

At first it will be very difficult for you. A child suffering from addiction will behave disgustingly at home, trying to annoy all other family members, try to find his “drug” from his dubious friends, or disappear into computer clubs. Just endure this period calmly. Be open to communication. tell him that you understand him well and are doing it for his own good. Think about what problems he might have (loneliness, lack of friends, lack of recognition from peers, unpopularity in his community, etc.) and help your child solve them. Show that you can find a way out of any situation. Raise self-esteem, inspire confidence that he will cope with his difficulties.

Along with the exception of games you will have to good think over the child's daily routine so that he does not have free hours for empty pastime. All this depends only on you, parents. That's why look for alternative hobbies, think about which section to enroll your child in, inspire him to do sports, encourage him to be courageous. After all, for a boy to be a weakling is nothing more offensive. And all the guys are trying to become stronger. What methods are used is another question.

If the computer cannot be removed and is needed as a working tool for your husband or for you, think about what development programs you can interest your son. Introduce him, for example, to web design, find training courses - there is plenty of this stuff on the Internet and in stores. Let your son choose something he likes. And the computer is nearby and your favorite thing. Very soon he will get the taste for a new and useful hobby. Show him that You can make good money based on some specific computer skills. The same web designer, programmer, illustrator, flasher, etc.

Do you still have there is hope to improve the situation. Act together with your husband now and you will save a lot of nerve cells in the future. I sincerely wish you success.

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