National unity jokes. Interesting photos

Cosmetology

And now on Red Square there are festively painted models of military equipment! These models are an exact copy of those models that, even in these festive moments, are on combat duty to protect the borders of our Motherland! ...

A poem about the shortest joke on Red Square.

On Red Square a little man,
His scrotum is nailed.
Here's a car rushing across the square,
There is a little man in the car.

Scrotum on Red Square
Although it’s not nailed down, where is the little woman?
Where did you nail your scrotum?
Why did the little woman run away from him?

A little man on Red Square
The scrotum is formalized!
Even though this man is not alive
And his scrotum is not nailed down,

Russian women go and watch,
How a beard curls upward.
Adults and children love it here
These scrotums are nice!

A little man sits, stands, lies -
Everyone still has a scrotum!
So we gathered on the square
Three...intact...X...nice scrotums!

We award a letter for each -
And them..! we get the name!
Each scrotum has a letter -
And it turns out Slovenian!

So this square became red
and..H..neYu is not called in vain!
It's time to light a flashlight on her!!!
Although, that's a red flag! Who's fumbling!

It flutters and curls -
That's what Red Square is called!
And this is a verse about texts
It's been a long time since we've been without them...

"Short anecdote"
"Made in lab idea vasjad"a!

I heard that the shortest joke is a 3-letter word on Red Square... So I collected it.

On this day, the icon of the Most Holy Theotokos was revealed in Kazan, becoming one of the most revered in Rus'. The icon is an image of the Mother of God and Jesus Christ, who are facing people. Christ blesses with one hand, the other hand is hidden under the tunic. According to the iconographic composition, the icon belongs to the “Hodegetria” type (in Greek - “guidebook”).

Unlike more ancient icons of this type, the head of the Virgin Mary is slightly tilted to the left. According to stories recorded in 1594 (15 years after the appearance of the icon), the location of the shrine was indicated by a 9-year-old girl Matrona, the daughter of the archer Daniil Onuchin, who was allegedly told about this by the Mother of God who appeared in a dream. The girl convinced the adults to start searching in the ashes of the Onuchins’ house that had burned down shortly before.

Metropolitan Job of Kazan handed over the shrine to the revered priest in the city, Father Ermolai, who later took monastic vows with the name Ermogen and became not only the Patriarch of Moscow and All Rus', but also the author of the legend about the miracles of the icon of the Kazan Mother of God. During the reign of Peter I, the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God was moved to the new capital - St. Petersburg. Here, until 1811, it was located in the Alexander Nevsky Lavra. And then it was moved to the newly built Kazan Cathedral. In total, there were three equally revered miraculous icons of Our Lady of Kazan in Russia. The first icon was in Kazan in the Bogoroditsky Monastery, the second icon was of Tsar Ivan Vasilyevich, which was transported by Peter I to St. Petersburg, and finally, the third was in the Moscow Kazan Cathedral, and it was given by Prince Pozharsky. The celebration of the Kazan Icon was also established (October 22) on November 4 according to the new style.

The country is celebrating "National Unity Day".
From the news: “Medvedev and Putin will visit the Gorky Automobile
factory At GAZ today there is another reason to celebrate - the start
production of Skoda cars, organized on gas together with
by the Volkswagen company.
Yes, Nizhny Novgorod residents are lucky - new jobs. It's just sad that
a holiday that strives to become almost the main state holiday,
we have to announce the opening of production of foreign cars, and even
together with a German concern - obviously nothing of our own...
Another quote:
“National Unity Day is gradually gaining popularity among Russians.
According to the latest survey of sociologists, more than 40 percent of our
fellow citizens know what holiday is celebrated on November 4th. Grew up to 16
percent - and the share of those who are going to celebrate the Day one way or another
national unity."
Yes, 40 percent have learned the words - that’s great! To celebrate one way or another -
Great wording too. The neighbors, for example, went to their dacha for a week,
fortunately it's an extra day off. And my husband prepared a gift for his lady -
puts on winter tires.

On National Unity Day, the administration provided pensioners with free
concert tickets. The main United Russia member Peter Tyulpanov took the stage
congratulate you on the holiday and said:
"There are no mineral resources in St. Petersburg: oil, coal, gas. But
Our main mineral resources are you, dear pensioners."

Student's day

* Teacher's Day - celebrated in Russia on the first Sunday of October
* Tatyana's Day - January 25, is traditionally considered a holiday for students in Russia (Russian Students' Day)
* International Students Day - celebrated on November 17
* Odessa Students' Day - celebrated on October 26
* RTF Students Day - celebrated on October 27
* Failed Student Day - celebrated on the farewell to the army

Material from Wikipedia - the free encyclopedia

We received spam today. I quote verbatim:

DAY OF NATIONAL UNITY

V T R A D I T I O N R U S S C O Y D E R E V N E

Barbecue, ATV and horse riding*, paintball*...

Well, needless to say, it’s traditional...

On August 2, a Madonna concert will take place in St. Petersburg on Palace Square.
August 2 is Airborne Forces Day, which the St. Petersburg landing force traditionally celebrates on Palace Square..
Thus, it turns out that Gazprom, Lukoil and other corporations could not invite Madonna to the corporate party, but the Airborne Forces...
Glory to our landing force!!!))

The holiday of November 4 is approaching - the day of the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God, as
It’s understandable for the Orthodox to celebrate, but here’s how to celebrate “People’s Day”
unity" established at the same date for the entire united people - not
It's clear. Since the holiday was established by like-minded people in memory of the expulsion of the Poles
from Moscow, I propose on this day to gather in a large crowd, tightly
drink and drive the Polish and Lithuanian (at the same time) embassies out of Moscow,
somewhere before Mozhaisk, then drink heavily and elect a king, and a queen,

kind of like in Brazil the king of carnival, then celebrate! Of course not in
Brazil is cold, but the Irish will wave whiskey and beer and, well, praise
your Patrick - why are we worse! The next morning, hangover, apologize, let go
Poles with Lithuania to Moscow and wait for the New Year.

To the upcoming parade on Red Square!

Parade on the square...

Combined in a row
We have any colors:
Parade on Red Square
The blue ones will chase.

They will throw out their usual cry,
They will have fun
Even Ilyich himself can do it
Join them!

Even Yuri is wearing his cap
Won't stay standing
It will be great with them
March over the stones!
.....................
They'll turn the area away
To an untraditional den!
No, don't laugh, wait -
The square became... "Blue"!!!
http://vasjad.livejournal.com/
Vasya d-pils.

They replaced our holiday.
Or rather, not for us, but for them - I don’t fall into that age category,
which has been accustomed for years on November 7 to wave red flags and
drink vodka. It's for the better. Actually, at first they decided to just cancel the holiday
(the Soviet Union ended long ago, and holidays except New Year and
Christmas - all purely Soviet), but realizing that the measure is not so
popular, and will not add advantages to those who passed the law, they decided to make another
holiday. What else did we have there at the beginning of November?
We dug and dug... oh, well, of course! Day of the liberation of Moscow from
Polish invaders in 1612. A very patriotic holiday. I how much
I remember in our family we often remembered in the evenings the deeds of the heroes of that
ill-fated year, shedding a few tears, and not just one family celebration Not
dispensed with staging skits on the theme of liberation from the Poles.

I wanted to figure out what happened there and what kind of holiday this was.
And this is what happened (most of the data based on materials from various
encyclopedias):

Once upon a time there lived... and there were people. They ran their own household and didn’t care
to politics. However, politics back then was wow, worse than ours - there was
They were the royal heir there, their name was Mitka, but he was in rather weak health,
They took him somewhere for treatment, and there he died. Well, the king died, well
who doesn't happen? And the throne is gathering dust... people are already grumbling... And here is a certain subject
(according to historians’ guesses, a certain G.B. Otrepiev), comes and says - Who
is the last king here? Nobody?? So I will!

And so he did. There were some formalities - they say, this way and that, only
relatives, and on the paternal side.. (there were few Jews then, so
mother)... but he coughed, bent over, and basically pretended to be sick
a child taken out, recovered and raised on free Polish
bread... in general, someone still needs to rule.
And he would rule... if he didn’t love Polish sausage so much. I sold myself for it
Pole. They were delighted and offered him the sausage directly to Moscow
carry, but what? But only there is customs, this and that... it’s small here
formality - let's make Russia the Polish patrimony, and sausages - at least
you'll overeat. And everything would be fine, but the boyars didn’t like Polish sausage,
They conferred and killed Dimka.

One bad guy immediately found out about it. Well, right away... three years later,
there was no internet then. Well, how bad... and when then is he not without sin?
So in history he goes by the name of False Dmitry II (“Tushinsky Thief”),
why it was called that is not clearly stated anywhere, apparently in Tushino already in
in those days there was a market where he, at the very least, made money by honest labor
his sorrowful earthly existence. And here, from perspective - a vacancy
to the kings, full of social package and paid vacation in Barvikha. All in all,
the guy was no slouch - he pretended to be the supposedly saved Tsar Dmitry
(False Dmitry I) and in 1608-09 created the Tushino camp (right there, on
market), from where he unsuccessfully tried to capture the capital.

And here are the Poles again, and with Lithuanians at that!
(The Poles then had such a trick - they offered sausage without duties,
but we need to unite, but everything is fair, everything is equal... general election
king, general elections, the name of the state is such that it doesn’t offend anyone
it was... basically democracy! The Lithuanians agreed. What, sausage?
delicious, and warmer together. But the Poles turned out to be cunning and arrogant
by the people. They called the united state Rzeczpospolita (the Lithuanians thought
this is in honor of some famous speaker, but everything turned out to be simpler -
Rzeczpospolita in the lane. from Polish - Republic), and began to twirl their
dirty deeds hiding behind an honest Lithuanian name, and at the same time started them
mercilessly spread rot (by the way, the word “spread” was invented by the Poles). IN
in the end, all that was left of Lithuanian independence was... in general, they ate sausage and
kept quiet)

But let's return to our events. In September 1609, it was besieged by Polish troops.
Smolensk, Moscow was captured in 1610.
But main mistake they allowed inside, choosing as their king a man with
named Sigismund. Well, what good could happen after this? And nothing
was.

Then the Russian people noticed that something was wrong... the king had not been seen for a long time,
there is a lot of Polish sausage, strange people walk around, spread rot on everyone
laziness. And they realized that things were wrong. They ran somewhere and started pushing
sleeping on the stove for 33 years and calling to save Mother Rus' from the invaders.

There were few fools. But they were found. And thank God...
Prince Pozharsky and Minin, simply Minin, organized the “Second Militia”.
An unobtrusive question arises - why the second? Reason for cheating
the counter had a vague desire to scare the enemy (they say we are already
wow! We're going for the second time...). The second militia consisted of detachments of nobles,
townspeople, peasants of the central and northern regions of Russia, the Volga region. IN
in general, from those who did not have time or did not think to hide.

And the whole honest company went to liberate Moscow. And yet they were released!
In October 1612. For which all of them are now given honor and glory and a monument
the main leaders near St. Basil's Cathedral, where their sculptor
captured before the decisive battle in a silent question: - Well, can we go? And
in a silent answer: - What the hell can we do?..
With the same issue they were introduced in 1997 in silver on a coin
denomination of one hundred rubles (see coin).

From now on, every year on November 4th we will have to
October revolution in November is repeated in this case) we
We celebrate the liberation of Moscow from Polish invaders, sausages, and in general
as the most primordially patriotic holiday, proving that if in
end for..ut, then we can stand up and answer!

It remains to add that such a moment looms quite funny -
the Orthodox Church is trying in every possible way to promote itself at the expense of yet another
holiday (at the expense of the Soviets it was not possible). It turned out that the day
which fell to celebrate the holiday was chosen by the church, and this is the day
Kazan Icon of the Mother of God, in front of which the militia prayed before
battle with the Poles, and the Monk Irinarch of Rostov blessed in 1612
the year of Prince Pozharsky to march on Moscow and liberate it from the invaders.
At the same time, there is a typical substitution of concepts, because initially the church
timed the holiday to coincide with Victory Day, and not the victory to coincide with the celebration of the day
Kazan Icon of the Mother of God.

Here's to the day of national unity!
And the Buddhists are on the move again...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/romka/5192.html

National Unity Day
Preserved the shadow of tradition.
May he be blessed
This holiday, this day.
May good luck come to you,
As the ship landed in the port,
May God keep you from troubles,
We wish you to live for many years!

On the Day of National Unity
I want to tell you:
This holiday, although new,
But it's nice to celebrate.
A day off won't hurt
Everyone can rest
I congratulate you on this,
To boast about poetry.
It’s not difficult for me to compose them
I'm glad to try for you
I always: yesterday, today,
Just like many years ago.
I wish you a holiday
In honor of the unity of all people
He gathered us into his arms
Like a sorcerer in a fairy tale.

Everyone, unite,
Don't be shy to smile!
Your eyes will be joyful
And as bright as the heavens!
We will love each other
So that neither rain nor evil blizzard,
They couldn't separate us
They didn’t take us away from goodness!
May you have a lot of happiness,
May he bless the road
God who loves everyone
And it gives success in everything!

The holiday of all free Russians,
Regardless of class and rank.
Congratulations, family
Gathering relatives from the flanks.
This holiday is unity in everything:
In joy, in work, in family, in worries,
In the country we live in,
We go to our favorite job.
May your hopes and words come true
With wishes of goodness and prosperity,
Make your head spin from success
And efforts bring wonderful results.

On National Unity Day
Let there be fun today
Let all nations come running
And all congratulations will be counted.
Let the sun shine for everyone!
There will be peace in all homes!
Let the song flow like a river,
Dishes will be on the tables:
Uzbek pilaf, ravioli,
Manti, borscht and baklava,
Mamalyga, Chakhokhbili,
Zhizhig - galnash and dolma.
Everyone will shake hands.
Standing up in a huge round dance,
They will put the sun in a friendly circle,
May the sky be brighter!

Glorious is the holiday of twinning
From ancient times until now
National Unity Day -
Don't be a jerk!
Khanty, Nenets, Kabardians,
Today, once a year,
On National Unity Day,
We are one people!
Have fun, united people!
Let it go from end to end
The beloved cry is heard:
“Come on, pour it!”

National Unity Day
In my dorm
We need to definitely note
We live here in unity.
There's so much here different peoples
I'm just amazed
Everyone is gnawing on the granite of science
So much so that I'm afraid.
But we'll take a walk
Everyone loves to have fun
Let's say thank you to beer
And of course sausage.
And I congratulate you
I invite you to visit us
Don't be afraid - we will celebrate
As we need, boys.

On the fourth day of November
It's not in vain that we have a day off.
Holiday, feast, fun -
People's Day of Unity.
Minin K. and D. Pozharsky,
That they were in the royal service,
The city of Moscow was liberated,
They accomplished a glorious feat.
This is what happened in the world on this day
Four centuries ago already.
Let's get together, brothers,
At the table, not in the battlefield.
The children once asked their father:
-Are all Russians in Russia?
- How should I tell you, kids?
Here are the neighbors - Chuvashs,
Kum is half Jewish
Uncle is a nice Armenian,
Great-grandfather of godmother Nina
He was a real Georgian.
We are all different, so what?
We are all Human, we are all alike.
We will live in friendly unity,
There is no need to drink each other's blood.
Our mother Russia
She will become strong as before.
The holiday is the day of patriotism,
Glory, proud Fatherland!

Russia celebrates November 4 Public Holiday and an official non-working day - National Unity Day. This date was taken as a basis as a symbol of memory of the events of the historical year 1612, the people's militia troops liberated Moscow from the Poles and expelled the enemy from Russian soil. We offer funny SMS congratulations in verse for your colleagues and loved ones on the Day of National Unity of the Russian Federation. There are also such official congratulations in prose

Cool pictures Happy National Unity Day (website)

I wish everyone on Unity Day,
So that faces shine with happiness,
Unite at the table
And have fun with the “seagull”!
Sing songs, joke, laugh,
In general, have fun to your heart's content,
Afterwards - disconnect,
So as not to forget at all!
***
Happy National Unity Day,
I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart!
Be a worthy citizen
I wish our Motherland!
Live for the good of the state,
So that the days give warmth,
Create his wealth
May you be happy!
***
On the Day of National Unity
I want to drink, have fun,
Sing songs, joke, dance,
It's fun to celebrate the holiday!
***

May you always be united in creation and glory,
***
Glorious is the holiday of twinning
From ancient times until now
National Unity Day -
Don't be a jerk!
Khanty, Nenets, Kabardians,
Today, once a year,
On National Unity Day,
We are one people!
Have fun, united people!
Let it go from end to end
The beloved cry is heard:
“Come on, pour it!”
***
As long as we are united, we are invincible -
The slogan is simple, but correct!
I congratulate everyone on Unity Day -
A necessary and correct holiday!
Let there be peace and let there be harmony
Throughout the vast expanse of the country!
***

***
Let our friendly people live united,
After all, friendship and unity are our mighty strength,
The people are united by the power of courage and freedom,
The mighty Russian people do not know defeat.
On National Unity Day we wish the whole country,
So that they can unanimously say “yes” to the world and “no” to war,
Let cities and villages sing songs,
Holding hands, they dance together in a round dance.
***
We congratulate everyone on the holiday of Unity of the People,
Let it connect you strong friendship and cheerful laughter,
We would like to wish happiness to all of Russia,
Let's glorify our native country together!
We wish the people to be free and united,
Russians together are a powerful force,
The Russian people have no time to be sad and suffer,
Today we will celebrate the holiday together.
***
Unity Day of the People is flying over Russia,
The people will be illuminated with smiles and bright joy,
Will bring laughter, fun, success and goodness,
The whole country will be filled with one love.
Let war and misfortune not touch the people,
Let people smile at each other today,
We are the only sons of our homeland,
We live for the happiness and good of our beloved country.
***
Congratulations on National Unity Day, friends,
We are all together very strong and Friendly family,
Let's raise the flag of Unity and Brotherhood,
Let kindness and love burn in our hearts.
Let's move forward towards our dreams,
After all, our Russian people are mighty and great,
Let every person be proud of his country,
And let the people unite into one and eternal.
***
Happy Unity Day, Russians,
May our country grow and prosper,
Let the people unite in a single dance,
And everyone will wake up happy in the morning.
Let peoples be bound by friendship,
They won’t forget to congratulate each other on the holiday,
Let's celebrate peace, unity, kindness,
And we will make our cherished dream come true.
***
Alone in the field is not a warrior - we are told from childhood,
And together peoples must resist misfortunes.
After all, life is so joyful and the world is so endless,
When under the huge sun you know that you are not alone.
Let a good deed argue, uniting hearts,
Let friendship unite both countries and cities,
And the children laugh together, and joy runs forward,
And success and love will come to the people of the big planet.
***
Great Russia, a single power,
Mighty Fatherland, may glory be to you,
Let the peoples curl into a fist like their fingers,
And they will deliver a bloody rebuff to the enemy, a blow.
Unity is the faith and deeds of people,
For me there is no more beloved country, the country of my relatives,
Let national unity crush anger,
And all nations will live in love and happiness.
***
We are destined to experience national unity,
And accept the inhabitants of Russia as brothers,
We should close the national question forever,
Love your native peoples with all your heart.
Yakuts and Uzbeks, Chechens, Ingush,
After all, they are also “humans”, they are like me and you,
We are Russians together, one country,
Beloved Russia, you are the heart and soul.
***
The unity of peoples is a great strength,
The endless, mighty expanses of Russia,
Huge land and sea around,
Here in every nation, a newcomer is like a friend.
I wish my power to unite,
And through the distance of these generations,
Find a star of understanding in the sky,
Promote the unity of peoples in the country.
***
For the beloved country, for the united people,
We will stand as one wall and show strength,
We will, in a word, fight behind God’s back,
From Kaliningrad to Vladivostok.
And unity will conquer bad desires,
And the people will go through these trials again,
And Russia will boil with happiness and love,
We will go through a difficult path, we will win with you.
***
National unity, universal love,
I will want to bow to Russia again,
The beloved power has gathered the peoples,
And she gave us peaceful fun as a gift.
National unity and happiness for the country,
In the beauty of Russia we were born,
Our beloved power brought us happiness,
And she gathered all the nations together for the holiday.
***
On this wonderful day of National Unity,
I wish you good spirits and optimism,
Love, friendship, health, courage, skill,
Don’t be discouraged in life and be a subtle strategist!
Unite and celebrate this holiday together,
Have everything in life you need to be happy,
Relax, sing songs, dance, have fun,
Enjoy the happiness of freedom and willpower!
***
On a wonderful holiday, National Unity Day,
May your wishes and dreams come true!
We wish you faith, strength, patriotism,
WITH with a pure heart, heartily!
Congratulations on National Unity Day,
I wish you to drink all night and have fun until the morning,
Sing songs, joke, dance,
Celebrate Unity Day in a friendly and fun way!
***
People, unite! Be patriots of Russia,
Fill your days with happiness and joy,
We wish you faith, dignity and strength,
Happiness and wealth in the family and for the country!
Peace to you people, tranquility, health,
There is prosperity, comfort and warmth in your home,
Let them be filled with faith, hope and love,
Your noble hearts, full of friendship!
***
Congratulations on National Unity Day,
Happy holiday of unification and friendship of all people!
May your whole life be transformed,
It will become more colorful, happier, brighter and lighter!
Russians! Congratulations on National Unity Day!
Happy day of dignity and honor, pride, patriotism!
May you always be united in creation and glory,
Peace to you, great happiness, dear Russians!
***
Let our people be Russian,
United, friendly, free and united,
Let him move forward with a firm step,
After all, this is our Russian strength!
The Russian people are a great, powerful force,
Together his power is unbending and invincible,
I wish you warmth and goodness in your hearts,
Happy holiday country! We shout to you: “Hurray!”
***
The Russian people are a huge and friendly family,
Russia is your homeland and your pride,
Let's not forget friendship between peoples,
Live peacefully and never fight!
Let the bright sun shine on you,
We wish all people to be united forever,
Please accept my festive congratulations today,
Live in friendship and love people, always!
***
Our friendship, love, hope and faith,
He will always walk with us,
Our strength, unity and our will,
The Russian person will never perish!
And while the world is shining,
The bright sun is following us,
Russian people! We wish you all
To be one people, united forever!
***
On Unity Day I wish you sunshine above,
To all the Russian people on our land,
So that you don’t know troubles and dark thoughts,
Let peoples live together and not be sad!
This is probably happiness, to realize
That we are all Russian brothers and sisters,
Let's be friends, love, hope, dream,
And believe in the happiness of our people tirelessly!
***
I sincerely congratulate you on National Unity Day,
I wish you happiness, goodness, prosperity,
This holiday is very important and significant,
The Russian people are united, friendly and invincible!
Let us all decide for ourselves,
Let's hug and say thank you to each other,
And let us make all the people one unity,
And we congratulate everyone on National Unity Day!
***
In Unity, the people cannot be bent and defeated,
After all, together we are a big and friendly family,
A huge and very powerful force of Unity,
Together we are strong, we are invincible, invulnerable to the enemy.
Let people's relations be a good symbol,
Unity Day will be for the country,
May it give you the joy of communication.
And it will fulfill your most cherished dreams!