How to forget the person who betrayed you. How to forget a loved one: valuable tips

You don’t want to leave the house, things aren’t going well at work, and happy couples in love on the street bring tears to your eyes. After all, you also held hands, kissed in front of everyone, the whole world seemed like one bright kaleidoscope of happy moments. How to forget a loved one? Still somewhere deep down in your soul this feeling remains, mixed with bitter resentment... You cry into your vest best friend or, gritting your teeth, putting on a mask of indifference, you plunge into work. But don't get depressed.

Sometimes more than one month passes in trying to forget the man you love, this becomes your usual state, from which you no longer want to get out. Psychologists say that many girls do not know how to forget the person you love, only because they themselves are more comfortable living in an imaginary world woven from the events of a happy past. And the person does not want to accept his current situation, does not want to come to terms with reality. Try to pull yourself together. Sit down and calm down. Take the advice of psychologists and do simple breathing exercises - it sounds banal, but believe me, it helps. Try to evaluate this situation from the other side, not in such a tragic light. And here you may have several options.

How to forget the person you love if he left for another woman?

No, she's no better than you! Stop humiliating yourself, looking for flaws and doing soul-searching. This will only lead to a rapid decline in self-esteem. You will definitely meet a man for whom you will be the best.

How to forget a loved one if he has passed away?

No matter how cruel and hackneyed this phrase may sound, life goes on. This is the truth that can be especially difficult to come to terms with. But time heals. Repeat these words to yourself constantly, they really are powerful.

But it also happens that you yourself initiated the breakup, but you don’t know how to forget the guy with whom you had so much in common. Now your life has changed. Before, there were always two of you, you spent weekends together and planned trips. But single ladies also do an excellent job of organizing their leisure time! Grab your girlfriends and go on an unplanned bachelorette party this coming weekend!

— This point is inextricably linked with the previous one. Shopping will help, the best antidepressant for all times. Good shopping is always followed by going out, new interesting acquaintances and emotions. Maybe you'll meet something interesting at this party young man.

“Many people immerse themselves in their work. This remedy is really good, but the main thing here is not to overdo it with zeal. Take the free time you have as an opportunity for self-realization. Sign up for dancing, drawing, macrame courses, as you have long dreamed of, but you never had enough time. It all depends on how you feel. You are no longer lonely, you are a free, self-sufficient person, and these are two big differences.

— Psychologists share another way to forget a loved one. Take a piece of paper and write down all the hurtful words he said to you, all the unpleasant situations you found yourself in because of him (waiting outside in the pouring rain, he forgot to congratulate you on your anniversary, he was systematically late at work). Perhaps you didn’t lose so much by stopping communicating with him?

— Many girls, thinking about how to forget a guy, embark on a whirlwind romance. Is not the best option, because you may end up even more depressed. You should not start a new relationship without special feelings on the ruins of an old love. Now you have time for yourself, beloved. Perhaps you should be alone to just sort yourself out.

— Useful advice that has spread across many social networks. Comical, but very useful. If you have nothing to do, shake your butt. Classes will appear over time, but a beautiful butt never hurts. So, instead of sitting at home, quietly hating all lovers and suffering, asking yourself how to forget the man you still love, pump up your sagging sides (we believe that you most likely don’t have them), go to the pool and not eat your stress with all kinds of buns.

— How to forget the person you love if you meet every day, live in the same area or work in the same company? It’s more difficult to cope with here, but you shouldn’t run to your boss with a resignation letter or plan a move. Try changing the route of your usual walks around the house. Perhaps it's time to ask your boss for a promotion and a move to a new position. Then you will immediately kill two birds with one stone: your ex will not catch your eye, and you will buy yourself a pair of new shoes!

- Of course, one of ideal options forgetting a person is a journey. Preferably to warm countries, like the heroine of Sarah Jessica Parker from Sex and the City. Fabulous Abu Dhabi is just right! Although you can go to no less exotic Turkey or Egypt.

We've all experienced a breakup at least once. Sometimes they left us, sometimes we left. They hurt us, they hurt us.

However, parting is an invaluable experience. Through pain, the most powerful transformations for the better occur. Through the pain of separation, we realize what exactly we need in a partner. What we are ready to give, what we want to receive. What is “love” for us, and what are our priorities in life.

Therefore, if you recently had a painful breakup in your life, you should not despair, you need to move on. But how to forget a person? How to forget someone who was your whole life?

Below we have compiled 11 simple steps into actionable instructions for you. Complete them, and you will feel that life has become easier, and forgetting a person is still possible.

11 detailed steps on how to forget someone

Step 1. Realization that the person has left.

The most difficult thing in forgetting a person for whom feelings have not yet faded is to understand that he will not return again. Or that you will not return as you please.

Stop waiting for him. Stop looking out the window, hoping to catch his silhouette in the twilight. Don't expect to see a car parked near the entrance. Of course, don't call him or text him.

Give yourself the opportunity to truly forget the person. Perhaps this is the very first step, without which all your attempts to forget “yesterday’s beloved” will turn to dust.

Step 2: Remove all items.

How can you forget a person if your entire apartment has turned into his personal temple of worship?

Declare the next weekend as Spring Cleaning Day! Feel free to throw all cards, notes and photographs into the trash bin. Give to children in need all the toys, souvenirs, and even the huge teddy bear that this painful person gave to you on your second anniversary.

To truly forget, you need to get rid of everything:

  • photos,
  • postcards,
  • notes and letters from this person,
  • toys given to them,
  • underwear,
  • decorations, etc.

Yes, it is also advisable to get rid of jewelry. To forget a person, you will have to melt them down, sell them, throw them into the sea - whatever. Or hide it far away and for a long time. So that later, when you completely forget the person, you can take out the jewelry and wear it without any emotional attachment (but not everyone succeeds in this).

Also, in order to forget and let a person go, make sure that your home is yours. Yes, I understand that in this chair you sat in an embrace, eating ice cream every Saturday. And here you had a favorite place for making love. And then... to hell with it!

Make a change! Take the chair to the landfill! Burn the bed linen you had so much fun on! Stop cherishing your painful memories. Do you want to forget or live with the feeling that life has stopped?

To forget a person, make your choice.

Step 3. Personal diary.

Yes, friends are good. They can talk it out, get support and advice. But forgetting a person is not a matter of one day, not one week. And not even one year, in some cases. Therefore, do not expect that someone will listen to your thoughts “how to forget a person” 24/7.

Be prepared for chaotic, torn thoughts to appear in your head. That you will be thrown from side to side. One day the internal hysteria will reach its climax: “I will do anything to get him back!”. And the next day you may be eager to kill him and forget him as soon as possible. This is all a normal state for the period when you are trying to forget a person.

Write down your every thought, complaint, memory. Everything you need to “pour out” of yourself. To forget a person, allow yourself to be anything: write chaotically, tear out sheets of paper, compose stupid and amateurish poems, even swear in terrible obscenities on the pages of your diary.

You haven't had a personal diary since primary school? Not a problem, now you can buy them quite easily:

In the end, you can do it yourself by turning to the site for inspiration https://ru.pinterest.com. Just type into the search engine “ personal diary cover" or " personal diary page"and create!

Step 4. Hobbies.

After a painful breakup with a loved one, as a rule, consciousness changes dramatically. We can notice this after a while, looking back.

This change is due to the fact that the hidden reserves of our body and consciousness are often activated. The body classifies the situation as stressful. The consequences are expressed in increased production of adrenaline, for example.

Therefore, this period is an excellent reason not only to forget a person, but also to find yourself in a new hobby!

  • Dancing.
  • Music.
  • Painting.
  • Sport.
  • Charity.
  • A pet.
  • Knitting and sewing (very calming, I tell you).
  • Photo.
  • Vocals and everything the soul strives for.

Of course, if you decide to forget your past, this means that a lot of time has been freed up in the present. Great, you won't have to make time to go to a tango lesson!

Step 5: Avoid loneliness.

Often, in an effort to forget the person we were with, we close ourselves off from society. Alone with ourselves, we choke on grief, cry and don’t go outside. It happens that friends have to make a lot of effort to get them out for coffee or a movie.

Down with isolation!

Forgetting a past person is, on the contrary, letting more activity into your life! Avoid lonely evenings, empty houses, darkness and greyness. Now your state is vulnerable, you are trying to forget your past, but the wound is still fresh in your heart. Help yourself!

CANIT IS FORBIDDEN
Meet with friends, go to the cinema and theater, pubs and parties.Get drunk until you pass out, call/visit the person you are trying to forget.
Make acquaintances with new people for quality and enjoyable time.Throwing yourself into promiscuous sexual relations in order to forget the person.
Invite a friend to live with you if you can’t be alone within the walls of the house.Move to live with a friend, especially if she invited you “for a couple of days” until you recover. So you will also have to forget your friend.
Go on vacation with friends, family.Go on vacation alone and get drunk with every man.

Of course, in order to forget a person, you can and should go on dates. But this point is very delicate.

Feel with your heart whether these meetings are appropriate for you now. After all, it may turn out that you will strive to forget the person and thereby end up in a new relationship. “When you wake up,” you will understand that you do not want close ties with this new person, but it will be too late. You will break your partner's heart, and your well-being will deteriorate even more.

Step 6. Watch your appearance.

Without fail, without delay, without delay! Many women tend to forget the person who abandoned/left with the help of food. Eating grief is not the best option! The same as “lie down”, “light up” and “drink”.

Under no circumstances should you try to forget with help. bad habits. Beware of the moment of self-punishment. Be able to see true motives of your actions. Because a lot of things seem not to be what they really are. Don't you know what I mean?

I THINK THAT:IN FACT:
I will eat this chocolate tonight. Because I'm unhappy and good. I want to forget the person with whom we are no longer together, so now I can.I'm broken, depressed. If he forgot me, I'm ugly. I am fat. I have no pleasures in life except eating food.
I will smoke as much as I please. I'm going through a difficult period right now.I'm unworthy. I am bad. I will slowly kill myself and ruin my health.
I want to get drunk tonight. Yes, I drank yesterday too. But I try to forget the person, this is a natural process. If I forget, I’ll give up.I am weak. I can't cope on my own. I can’t forget this person in any way except by “drowning” him in a martini glass.
I won't wash my hair today. And shave your legs too. It’s okay, I can forget him and I’ll become a beauty again. This is what everyone looks like during a breakup.I'm depressed. I don't even want to take care of my appearance. It’s unlikely that anyone will like me anyway. And who should I try for if he is not with me?

It doesn't matter who was to blame, who dealt the final blow and left. Forgive yourself, forgive him, forget the grudges, and go to the beauty salon!

Step 7: Stop contact.

If you are determined to completely forget a person, you need to muster up the courage and courage to break the last thread.

For a long time I could not understand that he would not return. After all, he wrote to me every day social network! Yes, he immediately had new girl. “So what, it’s just to forget me!”

He continued to call me, find out how I was doing, and pay me compliments. When I forgot myself and asked to come back, he coldly replied that he, in fact, had a girlfriend. He reminded me that we had broken up and advised me to forget him.

Don't you think this is an ordinary manipulation? And that in this way I not only prevented the subconscious from forgetting the person, but also openly mocked myself?

Look critically at your life. Do you still have a connection with the person you are trying to forget? What do you need it for?

I know how difficult it is to forget and let go of the last connecting thread. Therefore, sit in a quiet place, brew yourself a cup of aromatic coffee and fill out the following tablet:

I think everything is clear here. Forgetting the person who hurt you and continuing to communicate with him are incompatible things.

Step 8. Rituals.

“How nice it was to have breakfast with my loved one on Saturdays”. Blah blah blah. And now you, with your hair tied in a messy bun, are eating burnt eggs from a frying pan. And this on the holy Saturday morning, my dear!

To forget a person, you need to remember yourself. Still, there are moments in every day when you cannot devote time to a hobby, go to the gym, or meet with friends. These are those small, but such important hours or even minutes that make our lives happy.

Leisurely breakfasts in the morning, taking a bath in the evening, Sunday shopping for the week...
Turn all those moments you used to share with the person you want to forget into rituals. "only for myself"!

Drink your morning coffee accompanied by Frank Sinatra and his “Fly me to the moon.”
Apply your favorite mask to your face. Have you noticed that the bathroom has become much more comfortable when there is not another person in it?

On Sunday shopping, don’t deny yourself anything - buy new panties, a set bed linen or jeans. Previously, you tried to buy another sweater and socks for someone whom you are now trying to forget. And I also had to remember to buy a gift for his mother, sister and all thirty-eight relatives!

Forget it all, how horrible dream. Now you have a date every day with that person whom you have long forgotten. With myself. Enjoy this company.

Step 9. Self-development.

I will repeat again that during the period when you try to forget a person and start living new life, it’s better to put all your energy into developing yourself, and not into new relationships.

For example, this is a good moment to take care of your body (frankly, any moment is suitable for this matter). You can also advance your career, learn Spanish, and write a book.

It often happens that during periods of complete despair, we do not even know where to look for motivation in order to continue moving in the right direction. Or we don’t know where to get the strength to forget the person.

Here are some motivational books that helped me cope with forgetting. ex-partner and return to a full, happy life:

“The subtle art of not giving a fuck, a paradoxical way to live happily,” Mark Manson.What you need in a difficult period when you are trying to forget and let go of a person. Manson will teach you how to make your pain “play” on yourself. In the book, he tells how to cope with any difficult situation by simply changing your approach to it.
"The Secret of Danish Happiness" by Mike Viking.Do you know that the Danes are the happiest people? How do they do this? Read and learn to be happy again.
"Make Your Bed" by William McRavane.Still hanging your nose? Well, yes, forgetting a person is perfect occasion so as not to make the bed, not wash your hair regularly, give up the gym, right? Read and appreciate how little things like this affect the quality of our lives and the achievement of our goals.

Step 10. Become free.

The decisive factor on the path to forgetting a person is the need to completely reconsider your priorities and life principles. You will have to forget the old attitudes that led to what we have now.

Have you sacrificed your career and social life for the sake of your family? Now we have to forget the person for whom this sacrifice was made. Are you ready to make such sacrifices in the future? I think no.

Take a piece of paper and write down what negative attitudes/behaviors you have practiced in past relationships. Were you a victim or a dictator? Did you make a sacrifice or demand sacrifices, like a pagan goddess? Do you still think that you acted correctly and your only task was to forget the person?

Not at all. If you forget, you will forget him, but when you enter into a new relationship, you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. After all, for unlearned lessons we always have to pay twice as much as before.

Therefore write:

In my past relationships, I_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.

In order to forget the past person and create a healthy relationship in the future, I will no longer _________________________________________________________________________ .

Take this list into your personal diary and work on yourself.

Effective ways to forget a person. How to permanently erase
from human memory?

Psychologist Nikolai Nikitenko advises:

Step 11: Break the taboo.

Using the previous ten steps, you will probably be able to forget the person you were in a relationship with. Thank God, the “treatment” period has been successfully completed. But it is very important to pay attention to the process of “recovery” after you have managed to forget the person.

After all, as it happens: you forget a person, you forget... You limit contacts with him, you study literature. And, lo and behold, you seem to have completely let go of the one who left. And then bam: "Hello. Did you recognize it? And all the pyramids turn out to be nothing more than a pile of sand that could not withstand a gust of wind.

After a long time after the breakup (a year and a half), you should slowly lift your inhibitions. After all, our subconscious loves to play its own games so much! Reflexively you shudder at the name of the one you forgot. Accidentally seeing his page in recommended friends, you throw away the mouse and jump away from the computer.

No. Forgetting a person means letting go of all emotions towards him. Therefore, when your psychological situation has stabilized, and you internally feel a calm strength within yourself that was not there before, you can make contact.

Not on purpose. But you can finally appear in the company of mutual friends. After all, you missed the guys so much and their funny stories! Now you see these people as just good friends, not your mutual friends.

Be prepared to hear his name and news of marriage, for example. Understand that he is just the past. Separate his figure in your mind from your life. And only then will you be truly calm and happy. Only then will you truly forget this person.

And yes, each of us at least once had to look for ways to forget a person...

I sincerely wish that we all learn to let go of the past, not get attached to illusions and live in the present. After all, the world is amazingly beautiful! There are many deep, amazing and unique people in it.

And one day each of us will find someone with whom in old age we will sit at the end of the world, warm ourselves by the fireplace and experience true happiness.

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All of us at least once in our lives have had to experience a breakup with a loved one, and if you did not want a breakup in your love relationship, then it will be much more difficult to get through it. Many people begin to wonder why this happened, and cannot find a way to forget the person who, for some period of their life, was perhaps the most important thing in the whole world for them.

Psychology does not know many methods for getting rid of memories of a loved one, since such feelings and their experience depend entirely on various individual characteristics character of each individual person. However, there are universal methods, with the help of which you can quickly forget your loved one and start living life to the fullest again. Let's look at these methods in a little more detail.

What to do to get rid of the memory of a loved one

Remove all things that remind you of your once loved one.

To get rid of constant thoughts about a person who was dear to you forever, sometimes it is enough to simply remove from your life all the things that remind you of him. Most often, such things include all kinds of gifts, small souvenirs, cards and notes that he gave you, as well as clothes forgotten at your home, umbrellas, bags, CDs and other personal items that your ex-lover did not have time to pick up or simply did not felt it necessary to do this.

If you wish, you can give various things that are necessary in everyday life, but remind you of it, to friends or acquaintances, but it is much better to take them and throw them away without any regret, harshly suppressing the attempts of your consciousness to leave at least something that you particularly like. Psychology claims that having “cleared” your living space of any things that could remind you of a failed romance, the first few days you will probably experience a little discomfort, but literally after a week you will feel a complete renewal of your thoughts and, perhaps, even catch yourself that during the whole day they never remembered their ex-lover.

Get rid of psychological “anchors”

“Anchors” in psychology are any moments that cause in a person any specific emotional reaction with a very bright coloring, which often arises on a subconscious level and causes the emergence of certain feelings. So, examples of such “anchors” that prevent you from forgetting a once loved one are musical composition, which sounded on your first date or during any other significant moment; places you often liked to walk together; mutual friends and the like.

If you don’t remove such “anchors” from your life, then forget dear person, for whom you had any feelings, will be very, very difficult even for those people who have the rare ability to control their thoughts and emotions. The fact is that “anchors” act exclusively on the subconscious and, whether you like it or not, cause a surge of certain emotions. The most difficult thing is to identify all the moments and phenomena that remind you of your former loved one, try not to analyze why certain situations cause certain feelings in you, and try to completely eliminate them from your life.

It will take more than one week to do such painstaking work, but as a result you will be able to get rid of the strongest signals of the subconscious that prevent you from quickly forgetting the person with whom you had to break up. In addition, such deep independent work on oneself allows one to significantly develop the ability to cope with any difficult life situations and try to understand a little about such an interesting science as psychology.

Go on a trip

The advice to go on a trip, which modern psychology gives in every second difficult life situation, already seems a little “hackneyed” and therefore less effective. However, in the case when you are concerned about the question of how to forget the person who once gave you the happiest moments of your life, such advice is actually one of the most effective.

The fact is that, having taken a vacation and decided to go on a trip, any person, as a rule, is already tuned in to a positive wave in advance, and once at the destination, he deepens even more into a positive perception of life due to the presence large quantity new impressions. If such a vacation is supplemented with light and pleasant physical exercises in the fresh air, as well as healthy, tasty food with an abundance of fruits and vegetables, then the “enlightenment” of thoughts will not take long to arrive.

You can choose absolutely any vacation, as they say, to your taste, since its goal is complete relaxation and spending time exactly as you like best. The only undesirable type of relaxation in order to forget your ex-lover is lying on the beach every day, since in this case the brains, which are not occupied with anything, begin to “throw” at their owner thoughts only about the one with whom you had to recently break up. And in general, the principle “the more risky and unusual, the better” works most effectively on vacation, since in most cases it allows you to completely get rid of any thoughts about the person who was once not indifferent to you.

Remember all his negative qualities

As a rule, the person for whom you have strong romantic feelings or who you simply really like appears before your eyes in a “rosy” light, which does not allow you to see even the slightest of his shortcomings and negative sides character. However, even in experienced love couples who have lived together for more than one year, partners may notice certain shortcomings in each other’s behavior, but may not attach importance to them, so that the picture of an almost ideal romantic relationship remains in their minds.

This, of course, is pure self-deception, which simply allows you to exist in a comfortable emotional and psychological state for quite a long time. However, at the moment when parting with a loved one occurs, we most often completely forget all the negative moments of the already former union, and only joyful moments flash before our mind's eye. You can continue to amuse yourself with pleasant memories, but you certainly won’t be able to forget your ex-lover in this way.

To get rid of mental dependence on a once close person, you should try to remember all the negative traits of his character, as well as any unpleasant situations associated with him, and, most importantly, write it all down on paper. The most famous works on psychology say that you can remember all kinds of “sins” and negative traits of your ex-other half as much as you like, but you can truly understand all this only when you have as detailed a list as possible before your eyes.

Everything should be written down, down to the most insignificant details, since with each negative trait the effect of this method of forgetting a loved one only intensifies. Having written such a list, you should re-read it at least several times a day (or better, every free minute) until you understand that there is simply no need to regret your failed relationship with such a rude, unpleasant and unattractive type.

This method very often allows you not only to quickly forget your failed life partner, but also to develop a good habit of paying attention not only to the advantages, but also to the shortcomings of people, which at first glance are often not very noticeable, but subsequently can significantly influence the construction of any -relationship with this person.

Stop trying to forget

One of the most controversial, but quite effective in many “neglected” cases, way of forgetting a person is the deliberate cultivation of any, even the smallest thoughts about him. You should try to think about your ex-other half every second, without being distracted by any other thoughts. Every day you need to try to increase the duration of memories of your loved one by filling in any “gaps” in your thoughts, including during random free minutes at work or school.

It would seem that such advice is completely absurd, because you have a completely opposite goal, but for many people it is precisely this hypertrophied mental attention to their former life partner that helps them forget him. The fact is that by forcibly evoking certain thoughts in your brain, over time you will achieve that your subconscious will begin to actively resist them and literally “push out” them with completely new and, as a rule, much more joyful and positive thoughts. Despite all its effectiveness, this method can only be used when others have proven ineffective.

Find a new romantic interest

Progressive psychology offers another bold way to forget a once loved one - simply fall in love again and start a dizzying romance, the emotions from which will allow you to crowd out thoughts about your failed soul mate. This method can only be used in cases where you know for sure that new feelings and impressions can easily bring you out of any state characterized by such negative manifestations as blues, apathy, lethargy, and the like.

However, even if you decide to start a new romance, this does not mean at all that you should “throw yourself” at the first person you meet, since such a relationship can just lead to an even greater immersion in a state close to depression. You just need to communicate more with new people, make acquaintances with those who have similar interests, start leading an active social life, sign up for dancing or any courses that involve learning something that has long attracted you. In general, the more active your life is, the sooner you will meet new love and you can plunge headlong into a romantic relationship, completely forgetting your ex-lover.

Just wait

Very often, people begin feverishly looking for ways to force themselves to forget a person when only a few weeks or even days have passed since the breakup. Of course, in such cases, there can be no question of any effectiveness of forgetting, since it will not be possible to quickly get rid of thoughts about a person who just yesterday was one of the most dear to you in this world. Psychology, as a science that most closely deals with the problem of human feelings and emotions on a variety of planes, advises simply to be patient and wait until the first, most vivid negative impressions of the breakup fade away and life returns to a more normal course.

Trying to forget your loved one in a couple of days or weeks is stupid and ineffective, since on a subconscious level you will still consider him your loved one for at least several months. Especially positive people For those who like life in all its manifestations, 2-3 weeks may be enough for thoughts about their ex-lover to completely disappear, but for more impressionable individuals who are accustomed to experiencing everything on a very deep inner level, it may take even about a year. However, no matter what type you are, in any case you should trust the flow of time, which, as you know, is the best healer in getting rid of any heartache.

Despite the fact that now the possibility of forgetting a loved one may seem completely unrealistic to you, remember that many people around the world have managed to forever get rid of obsessive thoughts about a former lover and begin to live a new, bright and rich life. If you are not lazy and use all the advice from our article, you will certainly succeed in such a difficult task as forgetting a once loved one. If, after trying all the methods described above in practice, you still have not achieved the desired “oblivion,” then all that remains is to seek advice from a psychologist who will help you forget your failed soulmate once and for all.

Discussion 10

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I could advise many on how to love and how to forget the ex-boyfriend you love. The psychology of my own actions turned out to be a mystery when I personally found myself in a dead end. I couldn’t give myself an intelligible answer on how to be in a cold, lonely world without him, how to forget him and let go.

Exhausted. I just wanted your name to no longer reverberate through my whole body, not to carry through the feeling of your hands, not to hold me with a gentle voice on the phone, not to drag me into the abyss again. I wanted to understand, to tear him out of my heart. They say time heals. I found a time efficient way.

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I'll run away from you, from myself. I can. The main thing is that you don’t catch up. When you hug me, I can't resist. This means I have to run far, but I can’t imagine how to forget love, how to wean myself from the person I love most.

When you rush around and first look for how to forget him, and an hour later - how to return him, it’s unlikely that anything will come of it. With system-vector psychology, I was able to separate my real desires from what had become an obsession, but no longer filled me with joy.

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Step 1. Coping with painful memories.

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Step 3. Realize the limitless possibility of being happy.

Why exactly these actions are instructions for a girl on how to forget her ex? The answers, clear and understandable, came to me at the System-Vector Psychology training by Yuri Burlan and pulled me out of the clutches of unhappy love.

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Do you really want me to let you go?

I held on to my past love like claws. I thought I knew how everything worked in a relationship. I could advise many people on how to love the guy you love. The psychology of my own actions turned out to be a mystery when I personally found myself in a dead end. I couldn’t give myself an intelligible answer on how to be in a cold, lonely world without him, how to forget him and let go.


After all, you are the only one to whom I confessed my love! How to leave the man you love? When you can’t control yourself, how can you forget the person you love? Psychology is needed here, or maybe something else that would give me a recipe for how to forget the guy I like.

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If you fall in love, then forever. The owner is for consistency. Her psyche is comfortable in familiar conditions with people she has known for a long time in predictable circumstances. So with all my being I wanted eternal love, so that I wouldn’t have to get used to a person again. I was ashamed to even imagine that one day I would be able to confess to someone else a feeling that had already been given to the very first one.

I still love him, I strive like a small pin to a big magnet. How to forget when remembering you is the only thing that makes you happy now?

A girl with an anal vector is more comfortable in the past than in the present. What happened had a special charm for her. And the future uncertainty makes you feel sick. This is why it is so difficult for psychologically inflexible hostages of the first experience to get out of past relationships. But there is a reliable way to reconfigure yourself.

How to stop loving a man? I was able not to suffer and let go of my ex-boyfriend, using my memory not to harm myself, but to benefit others. System-vector psychology allowed me to realize that I can do much more than just replay moments from the past in my head and drown deeper and deeper in the quagmire of memories.

There is no need to fight the natural qualities of the anal vector.

Excellent memory, the value of the past, attention to detail are not given to us so that we get stuck in the past. It is worth using them for their intended purpose - for the benefit of society:

  • learn, become a professional,
  • transfer important knowledge to others.


I immersed myself in interesting work, the properties of my memory began to work in the right direction, and I was finally freed from the painful memories that were ruining my life. I remember what connected us with him, but it is no longer clouded by grievances, but filled with bright gratitude for pleasant moments. With such support, you can move further on the path to happiness.

Emotional dependence - how to wean yourself off the person you love

Here it is, the stormy sea I've been waiting for! But love turned into a destructive tsunami. Hold on! But for what? There is nothing. Only Blue eyes beckoning to nowhere. And I can’t imagine how you can forget the man you love?

My beloved was the whole essence of life for me. How could I continue to live if he was not with me? All owners just want to splash in the sea of ​​love. But for some, for some reason, it dries out or becomes so stormy that you can barely stay afloat. Without it you are like a fish on the shore. And why do you think love causes so much suffering?

Maybe it hurts because you strive for love, but something completely different is born?

System-vector psychology instills the skill to distinguish between concepts:

Do you feel the difference? Emotional addiction occurs when I want self-love and can’t get enough. But true love does not demand, but gives feelings to another. If the chosen one does not need them, it means that something did not coincide in the settings of feelings. You can solve this problem by realizing the peculiarities of your internal structure and learning to give feelings where they are needed. Only then will the exchange of feelings be a pleasure.

How to forget a loved one? Systemic advice from a psychologist: emotional dependence is cured by true love.

I deeply realized that the place of love is not only in couple relationships. But also in a store, where a lonely grandmother cannot see the expiration date of milk, in a hospital, where a child cannot see sunlight, in a parental home in need of filial care - everywhere there is a place for the manifestation of a sensitive, responsive visual soul that wants to give love.

So many people desperately need human warmth! Those with a visual vector have it in abundance. It is when you empathize and work with your soul that you become happy. Inside yourself, surrounded by other people and as a couple. You acquire the skill of giving love and enjoying the realization of your natural properties.

How to forget your loved one and love life itself

System-vector psychology made it possible to realize: we have more than one potential soul mate and the possibilities of being happy are endless. Then what prevents you from being happy?

Relationships don't work out over and over again because:

  • Our own condition provokes failures on the personal front.

I didn't know myself. And the feeling of melancholy, dissatisfaction with life and with oneself was projected onto the relationship, turning it into misfortune for both. I kept hoping that happiness would fall from the sky, instead of knowingly building it myself.

When a woman knows herself and understands her partner, she becomes able to build relationships without accusations, without anger. She doesn’t whine, doesn’t throw hysterics, doesn’t get offended, but enjoys life and attracts a man who can realize himself and make his beloved happy.

  • We do not know how to build close relationships, even if we are initially suitable for each other.

It became so easy when we managed to figure out the issue once and for all. The psychologist's advice also showed how to build new, warm, close relationships. The secret is in the emotional connection that invisibly binds two hearts. It was as if I had found myself in a sea of ​​feelings where I couldn’t find the bottom, I found what I was looking for - I understood what truly happy experiences in a couple relationship are.

The article was written based on training materials “ System-vector psychology»

Every woman at a certain stage in her life has had to experience a breakup with her loved one. Some girls say goodbye to a man completely painlessly. And for some it is difficult to move on in life and forever let go of a person who meant so much. Sooner or later, a girl faces the question of whether how to forget the person you love. Psychology relationship states that a breakup or unrequited love between a woman and a man is always pain and an unpleasant aftertaste, but nothing is impossible in life and in fact a person is much stronger than he thinks.

But instead of finding out why the relationship didn’t work out or trying to free their hearts, disappointed and unhappy partners begin to blame each other for unjustified hopes. At first glance, this may seem completely impossible. But it is precisely in such a situation that the advice of a professional psychologist is extremely necessary, who will help you understand how to forget the man you love.

Any professional psychologist will confirm that the path to liberation is simply to go through the period of separation from the man you love, whom you want to erase from your memory.

If parting with a very beloved man causes pain, it is best to consult a psychologist. And get it from him professional help. Psychology with her huge base of knowledge and methods, she will help in difficult situations with her universal advice. Which will help you forget your loved one. Of course, several meetings are not enough, since getting rid of pain is a long and difficult process.


If a girl does not have the opportunity to contact a psychologist, or for some reason she does not want to, then the following effective measures can be taken:

  1. Accept the situation as it is. There is no need to live in the past and fill your memory with past happy moments with your boyfriend or man. Sooner or later, you will have to realize real things in any case;
  2. Release your feelings. All negative emotions and feelings (resentment, rage, anger) associated with your loved one must completely come out;
  3. Trust someone with your story. You can throw out all the simmering feelings and thoughts through a conversation with a friend or even a random person you meet.

After completing these stages, the girl may experience some emptiness or sadness. But having accepted this state of affairs and letting go of the past, a person finds himself on the threshold of a new stage of life. Even if sometimes with fleeting thoughts about a person with whom many happy moments were associated, but the relationship has come to an end, and life goes on.

When ordinary means are powerless, supernatural forces come to the rescue. Of course, if a woman is not indifferent to such a magical method in order to forget a man. Methods of this kind are generally available, since complex devices and certain magical knowledge are not needed. The main thing that is needed for any spell is the power of persuasion.

Conduct CONSPIRACY and rituals are needed with unprecedented confidence:

It’s inconspicuous to scatter a pinch of salt between yourself and your loved one, saying: “I don’t wish you harm, I’m excommunicating you. We cannot be together either in our hearts or in our minds. From now on and forever."

  • When you see a falling star, take a handkerchief and quickly wipe your face with it, saying: “As a star leaves the sky, so will my love leave forever.”
  • Tear a thread from a ball about the length of your palm, then cut it into small pieces. Place the pieces in a saucer and set them on fire, repeating: “It’s hot, but it’s cooled down, what I loved has cooled down!” At the end, throw away the ashes.

Music and various melodies have no less magical properties. If you think about it what kind of music to listen to in such a difficult period, then it is better to give preference to light and unobtrusive melodies. For example, listen to music for yoga or meditation classes. It promotes relaxation, calmness and good mood.


Definitely, the end of a long-term relationship with a former loved one is not one of the most pleasant events in a woman’s life. Which brings with it unpleasant memories. Therefore, women pose the painful question of how to forget the beloved man with whom they had a personal relationship.

Breaking up a relationship is a stressful and lengthy process. What a woman needs at such a moment is a renewal of soul, body and chaotic thoughts.

The main recommendation that any psychologist can voice is not to become depressed and not to jump headlong into the pool of emotions. With such an attitude and fixation on the situation, nothing will change, and the psycho-emotional state can change greatly for the worse.

To calm down your thoughts about ex-man, it is necessary to accept the separation and not keep in your soul the hope of the return of your loved one. You should not become discouraged and blame yourself for the current situation. Almost every relationship has both positive and negative aspects. You just need to find the positive aspects, and then you will realize that you have gained freedom, independence and opened up new opportunities for personal growth.


It happens that a young man, whom a girl is trying with all her might to forget, tries to look for meetings with her. Or their paths often cross. Of course, a woman may feel a desire to be close to her lover, but such meetings can bring severe mental pain.

To forget, it is necessary to maintain distance (if meetings occur daily). Or try, at least for a while, not to meet the person you want to forget. You should not look for such meetings in places where they are most likely to occur. If you need to maintain contact (for work matters), speak on the phone concisely and restrainedly.

On the other side, human consciousness tends to distort the picture of the world, where each object in perception is depicted differently than in reality. You don't need to let your feelings control you. You need to concentrate on the fact that the man you love is an ordinary person, with a personal set of shortcomings. Pay attention to how others treat him and try to objectively accept his advantages and imperfections.

Cross it out man from your head and heart is a matter that requires a long time, work on yourself and your thoughts. Forgetting a person for whom you have loving feelings is possible, even if you see him every day.

What to do in order to forget a person?

Abstraction. First, you need to decide what can evoke vivid emotions, get inspiration and then choose an activity to your liking: an interesting trip, sports, yoga, favorite books, changing your image, hairstyles;

Interest in new things. Be interested in something new every day.

Change of environment. Meeting interesting people, live communication and new emotions with friends is what really helps in difficult situations.

In any case, the list of actions does not end there. The main thing is to get hooked on an activity that will open a new page in life.

Most girls after a breakup don’t understand how to forget a man they loved very much. Living in tormenting thoughts and memories of him is not at all comfortable. And of course, you want to either return him or erase him from your life forever.

In order for a girl to forget her beloved, she needs to accurately determine whether she really loves him or not. To do this, it is best to concentrate on something interesting or important that can distract you from unnecessary thoughts for a couple of months. If after 2-3 months your love for a man has not faded, but your feelings for him have become stronger or remained at the same level, then you should not forget him. After all, you can return your loved one and live happily without internal suffering.

There are also difficult cases when girls, after a painful breakup, for good reasons, want to forget about their loved one and never think about it. In such a situation, you need to stop thinking about his existence and thereby convey to him mental energy. After the thought streams disappear, the woman will gain strength, live a full life, or find a new man and turn all her attention to him.

Do you now understand how to forget the person you love, can psychology help? Leave your opinion or feedback for everyone on the forum.